I’ve been in. Not any one particular thing i suppose, but sometimes it just seems like hard times keep coming no matter what. Then I’m depressed and bitching to myself about stuff that (in the grand scheme of things) are pretty meaningless and not worth the worry. Especially in comparison to what hundreds of thousand of people are going through right now due to the ever-continuing Katrina disaster. My worries, though big to me, are tiny grains of sand to dust off rather than huge boulders to break down piece by piece. I’m lucky to have the family and friends that I have and should be much more grateful than I’ve been feeling lately.

Grandma is taking a turn for the worse. She lost 4 pounds last week so that puts her at 92 lbs. 92 pounds. This woman used to wear a size 14 and now she looks like a flabby skeleton. and she’s so unhappy. i can see it in her eyes. she does nothing but tell my grandfather how horrible he is and how he leaves her all alone and doesn’t care about her (of course, the only time he leaves her is to go to the store or to go to church, then my mom is with her). She can’t walk at all by herself, and it’s even difficult to help her. she has no balance whatsoever and can hardly pick her legs up to take her next step. I just don’t see how my grandfather does it every day. It’s so sad to loose her bit by bit like this. and she says such mean things. i know she doesn’t really mean it or know what she’s saying. She kept telling me yesterday that she wanted to go home, not completely understanding that she was at home. when i tried to tell her, she just got really mad because she realized that she was at home. I know she gets embarrassed…and that’s part of the reason that she lashes out like she does. On top of it, my grandparents sweet dog Pierre (who actually began life as my dog) is very sick also and hasn’t been given much time, but is still eating for the time being and he’s well cared for and loved so we’ll see what happens. my grandfather will be crushed when Pierre goes. Pop used to feed the dog buttered toast for breakfast, if that gives you any idea of his feelings for the dog. Here’s a picture of Evan and Pierre. we told Evan that he was sick so he got down next to him and started to stroke his head…it was sweet…

Dsc00963On top of the ongoing saga with grandma, the alternator on Rob’s car went out, so we had to carpool for a few days. I AM SO TIRED OF DRIVING! ugh. i want to move back to town.

Okay, enough complaining, right? Onward and upward as my old boss used to say.

Advertisements