you suck.

except for the flowers and grass and trees (minus the pollen), the bright blue sky and happy puffy clouds.

stupid april. i want to hate you. but you seduce me with your warm days and fresh smells. bitch.

Probably my favorite picture right now…and will be for a long time. Uncle Mike with Pop-Pop at Christmas this past year.

it’s almost the middle of freakin’ February! (and damn + blast is my favorite new-to-me phrase)

I was lucky enough to take a quick trip to Florida last week to enjoy a tiny bit of warm, sunny weather. Nothing like what we’re getting here in TN now. It took me almost three hours to get home from the store today! roads weren’t salted, nor were they being scraped. a truly awful commute home tonight.

and during that short stay, Cara (@anjacara) finally convinced me to try Bare Escentuals make-up. not that she hasn’t extolled its virtues in the past, but this time it stuck. we went to Ulta, which I’d never been to before (and just found out there’s one in the ‘Boro). So I got an intro kit and an eye kit (thanks Cara!!) and have been loving it ever since. And what’s bad is that there’s a retail Bare Escentuals store at Green Hills Mall. I see more BE in my future, for sure.

somehow, i dont’t think i’ll be sleeping tonight…me and netflix are gonna be tight tonight.

 

this from kate spade:

oh yes, it will be mine.

into little pieces. i have so much to do finish. i should be cleaning, baking, knitting, wrapping and shopping, but instead i’m reading and about to take a hot bath. i’ll be thinking about healing in 2010 and 2011. though, 2010 was more about hurting than healing, but i may be able to draw out the bright spot. maybe the warm water will help.

so a ticket to Kazakhstan alone  is around $4,000 round trip. So it looks like my first goal  (in order to reach my “new” goal) is going to be saving up enough money to take that trip. that’s a tough one to think about during the holidays. I better get down to business and do a budget for December. Everyone is getting a home-made gift this Christmas, I believe.

so i’ve decided that i’m going to visit all the countries in the world that start with the letter “K”. and i’m going to do that by the time I turn 40. Yes indeed. I think there are 7 countries. I’ll post a list soon. I don’t think rob is too happy about my decision, because I’ll probably have to do many of the trips alone. North Korea anyone?

yesterday i hit my head on a metal corner. I hit it so hard that I saw stars. not shiny, twinkly ones, but scary mean ones that looked at me ugly because I was dumb enough to hit my head so hard.

i have a headache today, by the way.

I’m taking an online class (actually, taking it again) called Learn Something New Every Day. Taught by Shimelle at shimelle.com, it’s designed to make you slow down and ponder a lesson learned every day. I’m really looking forward to having a prompt and to making room in each day to stop, think and write. I’m going to attempt to chronicle those bits and pieces here on their way to my daily album.

me and the family are heading to the mountain tomorrow morning. It’s going to be a lovely day, I’m sure. we’ll bring the dog. we’ll see my aunt judy, aunt michelle and uncle mike. we’ll celebrate my cousin’s jessica’s birthday. i’ll give her a scarf that i knitted. (it’s really cute too.)

but here’s what’s going to happen when i pull in the driveway at my grandfather’s house. i’ll see my mom’s house. i’ll see my mom’s car. and for some reason i’ll have to go to inside her house (my aunt and uncle live there now so they can be close to my grandfather) and then it’s just all down hill from there. i’ll be fine when i’m there, mostly. then i’ll come home and wonder why i’m such a bad mood.

it’s something that is still difficult for me, and i know it’s going to happen every time i’m go. and eventually it will get worse. My family used to be a little foursome. my grandparents, my mom and me. sure, my uncle, aunt and cousins were around, but the four of us were a unit. we went on vacation together, rode horses together. my grandma was a primary person in my life as much as my mom was when I was little. she was the one who was there every afternoon when i got home from school because my mom worked two jobs to send me to private school.

so, grandma died last april. and we were down to 3 in our little family. and then this april, when my mom died, it was down to me and my pop. running at 50%. Pop-Pop is going to turn 90 on his birthday in January 2011. so you see what i’m getting at. damn and blast.

in action:

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